Here are our answers to some frequently asked questions.
Q: What is this site about anyway?
A: The site is dedicated to helping people live the
Simply declare your intent to begin living by the Golden Rule. See the
essay on our home page for more information. There is no
cost, nothing to buy, and you don't even have to join a group or sign up for any
is simple, but it is not easy!
Q: Why are you doing this?
A: What could be more important?
Q: How are you interpreting the
Golden Rule? Doesn’t
reciprocity go both ways?
Should I do unto others before they do unto me? Is this advocating
revenge and retaliation? Should I continue cycles of abuse?
A: The Golden Rule is kindness and compassion. Consider the intent and convergence of the concepts expressed by
all of the cultures and
religions that advocate the Golden Rule. Base your actions on
empathy, respect and
contribution, caring, compassion,
forgiveness, and non-violence. Do no harm, take a global perspective, and
personal attacks, trespass, abuse,
revenge are strictly off-limits and out-of-bounds.
can appear to be rough at times, is an important part of socialization and is
certainly permitted, but be certain that everyone involved is enjoying this play.
Treat others as peers—your equal—ensure the relationship is
in your relationship, candid in your conversations,
and congruent in your actions.
stillness over aggression and
contribution over consumption, inclusion over exclusion,
needs over wants,
generosity over greed,
peer over power,
candor over deceit,
trust over manipulation, and authentic
The recently adopted
Charter for Compassion amplifies these ideas. (You may wish to download this
pdf version of the charter)
Q: Are you saying I have to give in and indulge other people’s every whim? Will
I just become a “yes man”, a patsy, a wimp, and a chump? Do I always have to
capitulate and go along with whatever it is the other person wants? Is this just
“going along to get along?”
A: No, you can be willful as you are
kind, respectful, and
responsibly yourself, and do not
condone or indulge
another's lack of responsibility,
cruel behavior. If you are uncertain about how to act, consult this
list of widely held values for
guidance. When you encounter
conflict, work to understand the conflicting
goals, work to transcend the conflict,
and work together toward a constructive resolution. When the other person is
being childish, cruel, abusive, irresponsible, lazy, cowardly, hypocritical,
harmful, dishonest, unfair, selfish, greedy,
or inconsiderate, you can give them candid, firm, and
fair feedback. Say what you
mean without being mean, preaching, or proselytizing. Preserve and
strengthen the relationship as you are being clear about your own viewpoint,
choices, goals, values,
and the basis for your beliefs and actions. Work
to build trust and mutual
respect. Follow these
guidelines for working together.
Q: At work I am a tyrant, I have to be, its a dog eat dog world out there. But I
contribute generously to charities and attend religious services regularly, is
A: No - the pledge is to always live by the Golden Rule. It's
not a transaction where good deeds make up for bad deeds; living the Golden Rule
requires constantly demonstrating