Emotional Competency

Explore the Logic of Passion


Glossary
Many of the words used throughout these web pages are briefly defined here.
Many are linked to web pages discussing the concept in depth.

Words with multiple contrasting meanings are also listed as multiplexed words.
Aggression:
Any behavior directed toward the goal of harming or injuring another living being.
Alexithymia:
Difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses.
Alliance:
Any situation where one individual benefits from the support of another against a third party.
Altruism:
An ongoing pattern of good deeds.
Ambivalence
The simultaneous coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.
Amnesty:
A general pardon for past offenses. A variant of forgiveness.
Annoyance:
A mild form of anger.
Anger:
An emotion triggered by a loss attributed to a willful and unjust agent.
Anger Display:
Shouting, threatening, or becoming violent or abusive as an expression of anger or dominance.
Anxiety:
Emotional response to an uncertain threat.
Appeasement:
To pacify; to create peace, quiet, ease, calm, or contentment. The human smile is a signal of appeasement.
Apology:
A sincere acknowledgement of responsibility and wrongdoing
Architecture for Interaction
A particular integrated model for constructive human interaction.
Archetype:
A universally understood symbol, term, or pattern of behavior. A prototype upon which others are copied, patterned, or emulated.
Arrogance:
Synonym for Hubris.
Assumption:
An unfounded belief.
Asymmetrical:
Unbalanced. Uneven. Unequal. Inequitable. Lopsided. One-sided.
Authentic:
Real and accurate. Having a genuine and verifiable origin. Not fake, phony, or counterfeit.
Authentic Person:
Anyone with aligned and congruent self image, stature, and public image. An authentic person understands their authentic self and acts congruently with it.
Authority:
The right or legitimacy to enforce rules, give orders, or allocate resources.  The scope of positional power.
Autonomy:
Acting on our own unfettered choice.
Belief:
A statement, assertion, or theory you accept as true.
Blame:
Assigning responsibility for a loss.
Bonded Pair Species:
Definition
Bullying
Abuse of power.
Calm:
Low activation.
Catharsis:
Purging obstacles to clear thinking.
Change:
To transform or convert. To make the future different from the past.
Cheating:
A  selfish attempt to break the rules. Riding for free.
Chemistry
Informal and approximate synonym for primal messages
Class:
Assumed privileges.
Classical conditioning
The general phenomenon of learning to associate a new, neutral stimulus (e.g. ringing the bell) with a previously existing response (e.g. salivation)
Coalition
A combination or alliance, especially a temporary one formed between persons to attain a common goal
Coercion:
Using fear or intimidation to attempt to motivate someone or to or reduce their available options.
Condescending:
Implying superior stature. Synonyms include patronizing, snobbish, and arrogant.
Conflict:
Contradiction between goals.
Congruence:
Alignment and agreement
Control:
The ability to change things through voluntary action. Outcomes depend on my actions.
Community:
A group of people where each member has a significant relationship with every other member.
Compassion:
Unconditional kindness.
Competence:
successfully meeting an optimum challenge.
Congruence:
Agreement, harmony, alignment, conformity, or correspondence.
Courage:
Value-based action despite temptation.
Debate:
To engage in argument by discussing opposing points
Defiance:
Refusing to acknowledge, or acquiesce to, the dominance of another. [same as rebel?]
Delegate:
To assign work and responsibility to someone else.
Denial:
Failure to acknowledge evidence
Desire:
Definition, contrast with goal.
Dialogue:
Thinking together through words. A conversation between two or more people acting as peers. An exchange of ideas or opinions.
Dignity:
The quality of worth and honor intrinsic to every person. The threshold level of stature required to meet basic human needs.
Discussion:
Consideration of a subject by a group. Talk or writing in which the pros and cons of a subject are considered.
Disrespect:
Discounting or challenging the worth, stature, or dominance of another. Refusing to show respect.
Distortions:
Counterfactual thinking.
Dogma:
An assertion supported by power rather than evidence. Inquiry is forbidden. An authoritative principle, belief, or statement of ideas or opinion, especially one considered to be absolute truth.
Dominance:
The ability to inflict harm. Power based on force or threat of force.
Dominance Contest:
A test or challenge to the present order of the dominance hierarchy. Disputing your present rank in the dominance hierarchy. If the challenge succeeds it will reorder the dominance hierarchy. If it fails, it will affirm the dominance hierarchy.
Dominance Hierarchy:
The socially accepted rank ordering of individuals according to their relative dominance. The network of relationships indicating what individual submits to what others.
Dyadic Relationship:
A relationship between two entities.
Egalitarian:
Demonstrating the equality, especially the equal power, of all people.
Ego:
Synonym for “self”.
Egotist:
A person for whom maintaining and enhancing favorable views of oneself is primarily important.
Egotism:
Seduced by the first-person viewpoint.
Emotional Competency:
The skills to recognize, interpret, and respond constructively to emotions in yourself and others.
Esteem:
To hold in high regard
Emotion:
A mental state that has a strong feeling component.
Empathy:
A deep appreciation for another's situation and point of view
Evidence:
Observed phenomenon.
Exasperation:
A moderate form of anger caused by having your patience unduly tried.
Exchange:
To give up one thing for another
FAE:
The Fundamental Attribution Error. Incorrectly attributing an action or intent to an agent.
Face:
A person's sense of honor, dignity, and self-respect.
Faith:
A belief unsupported by evidence.
Ferocity:
An intense form of anger.
Flow:
The state of gratification we enter when we feel completely engaged in what we are doing. The absence of emotion or consciousness. Absorption, the loss of consciousness, and the stopping of time.
Forgiveness:
Choosing to overcome your desire for revenge.
Frustration:
A mild form of anger.
Fury:
An intense form of anger.
Gloating:
Pleased about another's mishap
Goal:
An end state to be attained.
Gratification:
Total absorption and right action.
Gratitude:
Appreciating the kindness of another. Rejoicing in what is
Grieving:
the struggle to prevent the loss.
Guilt:
Failure to meet the another's standard of behavior.
Habituation:
Definition - be sure to mention the boiled frog. Use Domjan book
Hebbian Learning
Memories formed in the brain by enhancing the couplings between concurrently firing neurons.
Honor:
Absence of shame. With dignity.
Human Nature
The intrinsic similarities shared by all humans.
Human Rights:
The inalienable and just claims of all humans.
Hubris:
Unrealistically high self esteem.
Humiliation:
A loss of stature or image. Induced shame.
Hypocrisy:
A breach of trust caused by actions or decisions that reveal shifts in a personal values system.
Impulse Awareness:
Becoming aware of an emotion-driven impulse before taking action. 
Impulse Control:
The ability to increase the time gap between impulse and action.
Incensed:
A moderate form of anger.
Indignation:
A moderate form of self-righteous anger caused by trespassing into the territory established by dignity
Insult:
An attack on a person's dignity, stature, or dominance. A demonstration of disrespect. Insult often provokes anger.
Integrity
Agreement, congruence, and alignment of intent (thinking), expression (saying), and action (doing).
Intimacy
Exposing vulnerability.
Intimidation:
Definition
Introjected regulation
Acquiescing to an external motivation without accepting it as your own.
Irritation:
A mild form of anger.
Label:
The name given to a symbol.
Learned Helplessness:
Inappropriate passive behavior following uncontrollable adverse events. The belief that your actions are futile.
Limbic Attractors:
High usage paths and organizing structures in our memories.
Limbic Calculus:
Synonym for Primal Messaging
Limbic System:
A group of interconnected deep brain structures, common to all mammals, and involved in olfaction, emotion, motivation, behavior, and various autonomic functions.
Livid:
An intense form of anger.
Long Term Potentiation
Definition - relate to Hebbian Learning
Losing Face:
An image change reflecting a loss in stature.
Magnitude gap
Harm is more painful to the victim than it is satisfying to the aggressor. Pain felt is always more intense than pain inflicted.
Manipulation:
Actions taken prior to gaining trust.
Mood:
A long-lasting emotional state.
Motivation:
Stimulating movement 
Narcissism:
Self centered, lacking in empathy
Need:
A condition that must be satisfied to remain healthy.
Offended:
A mild form of anger.
Operant Conditioning
Modifying voluntary behavior through the use of consequences.
Oppression:
Suppressed, limited, or controlled by unjust use of force or authority. Sustained humiliation. The victims of tyranny. Prejudice plus power.
Ostracism:
Deliberate and involuntary exclusion from social interactions.
Outrage:
A moderate to strong form of anger.
Paradox:
An apparent contraction that can be resolved by further insight.
Passive-aggressive:
Hostile inaction. Covert defiance. Stealth spite.
Perception:
Selective focus of attention
Personality Trait:
Intrinsic differences.
Personal Power:
Power derived from the intrinsic characteristics and behavior of a person. Contrast this with positional power.
Pissed:
A moderate form of anger.
Pleasure:
Sensory indulgences, immediate delight.
Power:
An asymmetrical dyadic relationship.
Positional Power:
Power derived from a defined role, such as “the boss”. Contrast this with personal power.
Predator:
One that victimizes, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.
Pride:
Satisfaction from our assessment of an increase in stature
Primal Messaging:
Signaling between the limbic systems of two beings. This signaling is often non-verbal, and often takes place below the level of consciousness.
Primal Thinking:
A simplified form of thinking we often revert to during times of fear, anger, hate, or other stress. It is based on the fallacy of polarized thinking. It often takes the form of simple, absolute, but incorrect rules.
Problem:
A gap between the desired outcome and the actual outcome.
Rage:
An intense form of anger.
Reactive Offenders:
People who are hypersensitive to disparagement and rejection who react violently.
Rebel:
Refusing to acknowledge, or acquiesce to, the dominance of another. Refusal to submit.
Reciprocity:
Mutual exchange.
Reconciliation:
A friendly reunion between opponents after a fight. A bilateral understanding of a consistent or compatible account of injury or loss. The goals of reconciliation are to ensure non repetition, healing, and healthy co-existence.
Relevant:
Information or actions that can help or hurt me.
Relatedness:
Definition in the context of self efficacy theory.
Remorse:
Feeling genuinely bad about the hurt you have caused and taking full responsibility for the hurtful choices you made.
Responsibility:
Having a duty or obligation to act.
Reparations:
Payments intended to compensate a victim for a loss
Retribution
Punishment for unwanted behaviour.
Resentment:
A feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will
Resonance:
Closely interdependent and coordinated movements or vibrations.
Respect:
Acknowledgement of a person's high stature. Acknowledging the dignity of another.
Revenge:
Retaliation for humiliation
Sarcasm:
a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt.
Scapegoat:
Blaming a Victim for the Group's Misfortune
Self:
Your physical and mental being with all its human and unique characteristics.
Self-efficacy:
Your estimate of your capabilities to handle specific challenges and tasks.
Self-esteem:
Your own appraisal of your actual stature. Your self image.
Self determination theory:
A theory of motivation based on fulfilling the needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
Selfish:
Captivated by your first person viewpoint.
Self-justification:
Describing events in a way that preserves our pride and reduces cognitive dissonance
Self-Righteousness:
Confident one is correct; intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.
Sensitization:
An example of learning in which the progressive amplification of a response follows repeated administrations of a stimulus.
Snub:
Rejecting someone with distain or contempt.
Shame:
Dissatisfaction from your assessment of a decrease in stature
Should:
A plea to behave according to a particular (often implicit) set of values and beliefs.
Shunning
Strict social rejection and isolation.
Snob:
Selfishly and inappropriately concerned with stature.
Somatic markers
Physiological signals used to make decisions.
Speaking Truth to Power:
Choosing what is said over who says it.
Spite:
 Holding a grudge. Seeking revenge, often via passive aggression.
Staring back a thought:
Focusing your attention, at the earliest possible instant, to analyze an impulse or emotion. The goal is to engage your cognitive abilities to subordinate an impulse to your values.
Status:
Social Rank. Endowed with valuable assets.
Stature:
Level of achievement attained. The ability to help.
Symbol:
Prototypes for Organizing and Extending Memories.
Symmetry:
Apparent balance
Stonewalling:
This cold withdrawal from interaction is an ineffective, destructive, passive-aggressive,  response to anger.
Submission:
Acknowledging, and acquiescing to, the dominance of another. The opposite of rebellion.
Sulking:
A passive form of anger
Taboo:
Using power or fear to restrict inquiry.
Team:
A group of people who choose to be united by common goals
Theory of Knowledge:
How we decide what to believe.
Tournament Species:
Tournament species in zoology are those species in which members of one sex (usually males) compete in order to mate. It may stimulate jealousy.
Trappings of Power:
Symbols, furnishings, accessories, clothes, non-verbal signals, and other items and behaviors associated with power that work to project a powerful image.
Trespass:
To infringe on the privacy, time, space, or attention of another
Trust:
Relying on another.
Truth:
Correspondence with reality.
Tyranny:
Unrestrained exercise of power; abuse of authority.
Tyrant:
Anyone who exercises power in a harsh, cruel, or destructive manner. An oppressive, harsh, arbitrary person.
Value:
A principle considered worthwhile or valuable. A standard of judgment or appraisal.  (contrast with belief.)
Vengeance:
Retaliation for humiliation or other injury.
Vibes
Informal and approximate synonym for primal messages
Violence:
Harm to another
Vulnerability:
Susceptible to being injured.
Whistleblowing:
A communication intended to expose a wrongdoing by those in power. 
Worldview:
People’s beliefs about the way the world is or should be. Your ideas about how the world works. Formal definitions include: the fundamental cognitive, affective, and evaluative presuppositions a group of people make about the nature of things, and which they use to order their lives.
Wrath:
An intense form of anger.
 

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EmotionalCompetency.com © 2005-2009 by Leland R. Beaumont